Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Monday, August 29, 2011

a song of power

For family night tonight, my mom gave a strong lesson on how Heavenly Father watches over us. Sometimes we feel He is not near us, when it really might be that we are far away from Him... With everything going on and and with every answer I'm trying to find to my prayers, this family night was led by the spirit and helped me so much. The hymn, Dearest Children, God is Near You, was read. Although, my name was replaced with the word "children." I want you to do the same... 

Dearest Ashlyn, God is near you,
Watching o’er you day and night,
And delights to own and bless you,
If you strive to do what’s right.
He will bless you, He will bless you,
If you put your trust in him.
Dearest Ashlyn, holy angels
Watch your actions night and day,
And they keep a faithful record
Of the good and bad you say.
Cherish virtue! Cherish virtue!
God will bless the pure in heart.
Ashlyn, God delights to teach you
By his Holy Spirit’s voice.
Quickly heed its holy promptings.
Day by day you’ll then rejoice.
Oh, prove faithful, Oh, prove faithful
To your God and Zion’s cause.

I know that Heavenly Father is there.. i know He is.
Sincerely, Ashlyn

Saturday, August 27, 2011

best non-productive night ever!

Well, tonight started out really boring because Madeline was at work so i had nothing to do or no one to party with. So i called trevor! I went over to his house and this is what we did.

1. We sat on his front lawn pretending we were drunk.
2. Jumped on his tramp and talked about absolutely nothing of importance.
3. Pretended like we were 4 year olds in love in his tree house. Talked about kissing of coarse! (who knows what happened there!)
4. Saw a fire! So we drove up there and found out that it was some teenagers doing fireworks and started a fire.
5. Parked the car on the side of the road far from traffic near the fire and screamed a deathly scream as a fire truck came right at us... Scariest thing of my life.
6. Drove around state street to find ideas of what to do. Failed.
7. Found a park to run around on hoping it would start raining... failed. Ended up having grass fights and then just laying on the grass next to each other lightning gazing and screaming over every lightning that happened.
8. Ran for our lives back to my car because there was a man just standing in the middle of the baseball field looking at us. SCARY and CREEPY!
9. Drove home with blasting music and pulled over immediately to dance in the rain! :) we got drenched.
10. Freaked out about the rain and lightning and thunder and everything - we got hyper!
11. Went to his house for food but decided to take pictures in a bathtub as if i were dead.
12. Sat at his counter talking about our lives...
13... Said goodbyes.
best night:)
I'm watching you...

So it sounds like a pretty non-productive night right? well, its one of those nights that you can't stop smiling about because of how pathetically FUN it was:) oh life is good ill tell ya that much!

Sincerely, Ashlyn

Friday, August 26, 2011

forgetting what we need to remember

the family supporting me! as always!
Before I begin my post, i want to thank everyone for everything. Texts from friends, a priceless card from my own Student council, Madeline Ashcraft for being there with me every step of the way (like always) and especially her mom Sister Ashcraft, and my family for coming to the hospital to see me, everyone on Facebook with concerns and prayers, Mr. Park my favorite teacher even came to see me and to support me, for the dedicated people who took me to the hospital in the ambulance and gave me hope the whole time i was with them, and to Heavenly Father who was with me the whole time and watched over me and protected me. So thank you to everyone who made it possible for me to get through this rough experience, I appreciate it so much!

the best mom ever and me:)
When I was in the hospital shaking uncontrollably… I didn’t know what to do. The doctor kept telling me to breathe slower because my breathing was up at 37 times per minute and I should only be breathing 10. My hands started to cramp up and I wanted to scream because of how excruciating it was. I just laid in the bed crying and wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t slow down breathing and why my body wouldn’t stop shaking. The doctor started to get really worried as he kept demanding almost that i slow my breathing down. I finally got control of my breath and lowered it to 30 times per minute. When I was able to finally get all my thoughts together, I tried so hard to speak and I was finally able to cry out “Heavenly Father help me!” after I said that, I expected everything to be fine. But I felt another cramp coming in my right hand. The pain came and I finally just let it out and cried. The doctor told me to slow down breathing because I was making things worse. Madeline mentioned that my hands started to turn a dark purple... I couldn’t stop. I was giving up when all of a sudden I felt someone’s perfect hands on mine. The hand was so warm and comforting. I was so surprised I could feel warmth if anything because the pain was all that took over in my hands. But I felt such a strong grasp on my hand and I just cried of happiness because my pain finally went away. My eyes had been closed the whole time to help myself manage the pain, and when I opened my eyes… I expected to see someone, anyone. But, there was no one there. Heavenly Father had sent an angel to me. I couldn’t help but cry and say a prayer in my “off beat” heart to my God and tell Him thank you. I had just touched the hand of an angel… an angel. God is there and I know He is. 
i look deathly!
The past couple of weeks have been so hard for me with school starting, my disease along with hypothyroid, gluten and dairy allergies, no sleep.. etc. With everything coming down at once, I forgot what was most important of me... to simply remember Heavenly Father through all of it. It took me to collapse from a stool in a lonely room and to be transferred to a Hospital and feel excruciating pain to just see Lord's hand in my life. I have forgotten His love and that is why i have become so lost. I am the happiest person in the world finally, because i have decided to listen to the voice of the Lord and to finally see that Heavenly Father has so much in store for me, for all of us, if we just listen. I can see finally, I can see what is most important finally and i encourage all of us to find the presence of the Lord in our life. It will make all the difference, i promise. That is my testimony, and i say these things in the name of Jesus, the Christ, Amen.

I love you all and i am so grateful for all of your prayers! Thanks again... :)

Sincerely, Ashlyn

Sunday, August 21, 2011

falling asleep at the keyboard

Last night was so perfect for me in so many ways.. Madeline helped me laugh and forget the world, and I was able to feel at such peace which I have been longing for in a long time. Where do I begin?? Well, Madeline left  around midinght and I was so ready to plop onto my bed and close my eyes. But for some reason... I wasnt suppose to go to bed, so I stayed up. 2 o'clock in the morning came around and I finally decided to go to bed... About five minutes later, i recieved a call from my brother anouncing that my sister-in-law was going to have a baby (four weeks early) and that he was going to rush her to the E.R. and they needed me go to their house to take care of my two sweet nieces! I rushed over there at 2:30 and they left immediately. Feeling a little tired beeing 3 in the morning, I decided to help clean up the house. It came to 4:47 in the morning and I finally was able to lay down on the couch and fall asleep. As i layed there, i replayed some fun memories I had of a close friend of mine.. I started to fall asleep when all of a sudden i heard screaming. I raced downstairs where the girls were.. panicking that something had happened to them. I still cant forget that scream. I wrapped Kaitlyn in my arms as she sobbed because she had a horrible dream... I shed a few tears along with hers and we laughed as we looked at each other realizing we were making silly faces at each other. It took me about 30 minutes to calm her down and make her happy again. She wanted to come sleep on the couch upstairs with me. As I longed for rest, we set up our blankets on the skinny couch that we would share and cuddle. I looked at my phone and couldnt believe it was 5:13 in the morning! I eventually layed on the couch and closed my eyes so i could forget everything.. I felt so peaceful and full of emotion at the same time. Kaitlyn all of a sudden full of energy started cracking jokes and telling me about all the dreams she had had in her past... I wanted to go to bed so bad but i knew that this was a special day for her, the day her little brother was born. We talked and talked and i sang her songs to fall asleep. I looked at the clock again and it said that it was 6:30 in the morning and I knew that the day would be long. I fell asleep on myself. It felt like i was sleeping for two minutes when i dreaded waking up to an excited Hannah sticking her fingers in my ear... ugh i wanted to sleep so bad! I grabbed my phone hoping it was 2 in the afternoon but saw that it was only 8:30. So, long story short... im tired! two beautiful hours of sleep has lasted me enough through today which im grateful for!  As i told my mom this story.. she welcomed me to motherhood.. I feel so welcome:)
it was all so worth it... just to see the perfect family so happy:)
But as this day has gone through.. i have come to see so many blessings that i have recieved in the simplest form.. Just a feeling of peace, comfort, and love is all i needed... And i got it. So this experience has helped me grow so much in so many ways.

Dinner is expected so i have to go cook it up! (My parents are in Hawaii) and then I will be taking the girls to the hospital to see their new baby brother. Lincoln Michael Ririe:)

Sincerely, Ashlyn

P.S. Im new at this whole blog thing.. and I think that I need to learn how to shorten my posts!