Dearest Sons and Daughters of God

You have a purpose, a unique purpose. We were all chosen for this day and time to raise up the Kingdom of God, to bring the goodness and the love of God to those we surround. You are someone special, and you are loved. Every moment we live, every breathe we take is a precious moment that we can use to grow and become more like our Savior. Please, be the Son or Daughter you are meant to be. Dress modestly, listen to music that would only invite the spirit, read your scriptures.. do everything you can to be worthy of His blessings. Heavenly Father is right next to you every step of the way and i know it takes a great deal of faith to believe that. Build up Zion, build up the kingdom of God that we were sent here to do! Do not get distracted by the worldly things that make Heavenly Father a lower priority. Eternal life is our goal, our direction, our destination.. your destiny. You knew what you came here for, you knew what would come your way and beside the level of difficulty.. you knew you could do it only with the hand of the Lord. We can build up Zion and that we will do! As royal Sons and Daughters of God, we will fight... we will FIGHT! Get rid of those short shorts, that music that swears once, that hilarious T.V. show that has a couple bad jokes... "Stop it!" Be who you are meant to be and by doing so, you will spread much goodness across the face of the earth. This earth has billions of people waiting to hear our message, a message of peace, and true happiness. My plea is that we will find our purpose and live it. Don't forget that you are highly favored of the lord and that is why you are here now in the year 2012, because you have a purpose - a purpose that only you can fulfill. Together, we can all return, and that.... we will. 

Sincerely, Ashlyn

what a lonely day.

today is.. quite lonely. 

at precisely 8:13 A.M. i stood out on my gray and dull driveway, waving a shaking goodbye to my best friend, my brother.. steven. He's moved on to college. i stood out on my driveway thinking of how much i hated goodbye's and wished they never existed. If only i could take back all the moments i had with him and turned them as if they were my last... i eventually left my lonely driveway knowing he wasn't coming back and sank into my couch and cried till wiping my tears became too frequent. All of a sudden, the door opened from the garage and i heard my brother say, "whoops, forgot something!" i didn't want him to see me crying... so i buried my face into the pillow... then before he left, he said "goodbye ashlyn... i.. love you." (so much for trying to stop the Niagara Falls from pouring out of my eyes) i lifted up my soggy red face and stuttered as i caught my breath to tell him that i loved him, more than anything... then he said the word i hated. "goodbye." at that moment... i felt utterly alone. he is everything to me, my best friend, my supporter, my brother, my example... literally, my best friend. I am sitting at the computer trying to get across my point of how much i will truly miss my beloved brother - of how lonely alone i feel.

-right now, I'm listening to Be Here Now by Ray Lamontagne. oh how i am abusing the replay button. -

there are so many different kinds of "lonely's"that people go through. you could be in a room full of people and yet feel like an outsider and completely alone. One could even be so alone that they find a volleyball and name it Wilson and desperately grow to have a relationship with something so lifeless yet, more alive than the people around them. The word 'lonely' is avoided by so many yet one of the most common feelings we encounter. We've all been through it... we know that feeling of emptiness and desertion.

Dearest Steven,

I love and miss you already.

Sincerely, Ashlyn

truly blessed.

right now I'm just laying in bed thinking about my wonderful life and how truly blessed i am for all that I have! I definitely have my trials and hardships with health and life in general, but think of all the people who have it so much harder. I am truly grateful for all the trials I have been given - to just think Heavenly Father knows what I am capable of is an honor. I am so blessed to be able to wake up in the morning knowing that i can just get on my knees to pray for protection! Im so blessed to be in a home where love is truly desired and spoken. I am truly blessed to have a left hand strong enough to play the piano. I am truly blessed for technology and medicine and all it has done to heal me. I am sincerely blessed for all the living angels on this earth that have been sent to heal my wounded heart and to become my light.  Despite all my trials, don't you think im blessed for all that I've been given? There are so many others out there that have it harder than us, which a lot of us (including myself) don't think about during a trial.... Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and only gives us what we can handle. I think it's an incredible knowledge to know that each of us CHOSE to come to this earth - and its because we knew we could do it! We knew that through Christ, ALL things are possible! Remember what choice you made and remember why you made it. You chose because you knew Christ personally and you knew the truth. You KNEW you could get through your trials and return to Him with honor. You are blessed no matter the circumstances, so be of good cheer! When Joseph Smith was chained to a tree in the night of freezing rains about to go to jail, he turned to his men in faith and said, "Bretheren, we will live through this experience... So lift up your heads and be of good cheer!" you will get through your trials, I know you will - and so do you. Be of good cheer! Because...

You are truly blessed.

Sincerely, ashlyn

don't fear. have faith.

As i got ready for bed and brushed my teeth in my bathroom, i looked in the mirror and paused for a moment. I felt something odd... something was about to happen that i needed to pay attention to. I thought about what i felt a little more as i stared into the mirror and then continued to brush my teeth.

I pulled my hair up, wiped my face clean and slid into my soon-to-be warm bed forgetting what i had felt earlier.

As i lay there in my bed, I pondered all the things that happened that day that were worth remembering... not even noticing how fast i started to fall asleep, and soon began to feel peaceful inside (which i am sure we all do when we are about to fall into that deep sleep). Eyes zipped shut for the night as darkness came along with its vivid dreams. A screaming nightmare awaited me.

--------

I was sitting on my front lawn picking fresh pieces of bright green grass. The feel in the air was so still and perfect. I looked up to my right to see Madeline running up the hill with refreshing sky-blue popsicles in each hand. We laughed and talked about stubborn yet attractive boys along with what swimming suit we wanted to buy. Everything seemed so fine. My mom ran out the door with fear in her eyes pleading for me to come inside. Madeline and I looked at each other with fear not knowing what was yet to come.

Running inside following my mom to the room where our T.V. sat, the news was red to me. Blood and death seemed to be written over it. Terrorists, tornadoes, volcanoes, hurricanes... everything was happening.. IT was happening. I ran back outside to see the sky black and orange. The mountain side was on fire, neighbors were panting and calling out their families names, the ones they loved. No no no no no... this can't be happening... I'm not ready.. this can't be the second coming - theres still so much to do.

I screamed out to my mom, and i heard no reply. There was so much panic going on outside with destruction everywhere that i could barely hear myself crying out. I ran back inside looking everywhere for my mom, my sweet mother. Once i put my foot on the first step to look upstairs, the floor began to shake. earthquake. But i still had to find my mom! I ran upstairs struggling to find my balance and looked back to see my house crumbling. I didn't have time. I looked back upstairs to see my mom laying on the floor with a pillar of wood from the roof on top of her.. trapping her. Everything went silent. I watched my mom die in a panicked world.

--------

I woke up at the bottom of my bed with tears in my eyes. Subconsciously i knew it was a dream.. but i had to assure myself. I ran into my parents room to see if my mom was still there. I opened the door and saw her sleeping peacefully as if nothing even happened. I fell to my knees and rolled against the wall and sobbed. What if that was real. What if today or tomorrow.. Christ came. would I be ready? Knowing the fear i felt... i know that i am not ready. When I think of the second coming, i feel excitement and fear at the same time. Excitement because i can finally see Christ! But fear... because i don't know if i am ready. So today i have been finding ways for me to overcome my fear.  

"And now i speak unto all the ends of the earth - that if the day cometh that the power and gifts of God shall be done away among you, it shall be  because of unbelief."

Moroni 10:24

"Yea, come into Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, and then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."

Moroni 10:32

Prayer, reading my scriptures, paying FULL tithing, repentance, becoming constantly close to the spirit.. There are so many things we can be doing to gain a faith that everything will be okay. Gaining a testimony of faith is key. Without faith, there is nothing. I know that if we turn to Christ, and i mean our heart and mind, then Christ will wrap his love around us and we will not fear, we cannot fear if we are righteous and in the presence of God... i know it to be true. 

Sincerely, Ashlyn