Sunday, January 15, 2012

don't fear. have faith.

As i got ready for bed and brushed my teeth in my bathroom, i looked in the mirror and paused for a moment. I felt something odd... something was about to happen that i needed to pay attention to. I thought about what i felt a little more as i stared into the mirror and then continued to brush my teeth.

I pulled my hair up, wiped my face clean and slid into my soon-to-be warm bed forgetting what i had felt earlier.

As i lay there in my bed, I pondered all the things that happened that day that were worth remembering... not even noticing how fast i started to fall asleep, and soon began to feel peaceful inside (which i am sure we all do when we are about to fall into that deep sleep). Eyes zipped shut for the night as darkness came along with its vivid dreams. A screaming nightmare awaited me.
I was sitting on my front lawn picking fresh pieces of bright green grass. The feel in the air was so still and perfect. I looked up to my right to see Madeline running up the hill with refreshing sky-blue popsicles in each hand. We laughed and talked about stubborn yet attractive boys along with what swimming suit we wanted to buy. Everything seemed so fine. My mom ran out the door with fear in her eyes pleading for me to come inside. Madeline and I looked at each other with fear not knowing what was yet to come.

Running inside following my mom to the room where our T.V. sat, the news was red to me. Blood and death seemed to be written over it. Terrorists, tornadoes, volcanoes, hurricanes... everything was happening.. IT was happening. I ran back outside to see the sky black and orange. The mountain side was on fire, neighbors were panting and calling out their families names, the ones they loved. No no no no no... this can't be happening... I'm not ready.. this can't be the second coming - theres still so much to do.

I screamed out to my mom, and i heard no reply. There was so much panic going on outside with destruction everywhere that i could barely hear myself crying out. I ran back inside looking everywhere for my mom, my sweet mother. Once i put my foot on the first step to look upstairs, the floor began to shake. earthquake. But i still had to find my mom! I ran upstairs struggling to find my balance and looked back to see my house crumbling. I didn't have time. I looked back upstairs to see my mom laying on the floor with a pillar of wood from the roof on top of her.. trapping her. Everything went silent. I watched my mom die in a panicked world.


I woke up at the bottom of my bed with tears in my eyes. Subconsciously i knew it was a dream.. but i had to assure myself. I ran into my parents room to see if my mom was still there. I opened the door and saw her sleeping peacefully as if nothing even happened. I fell to my knees and rolled against the wall and sobbed. What if that was real. What if today or tomorrow.. Christ came. would I be ready? Knowing the fear i felt... i know that i am not ready. When I think of the second coming, i feel excitement and fear at the same time. Excitement because i can finally see Christ! But fear... because i don't know if i am ready. So today i have been finding ways for me to overcome my fear.  

"And now i speak unto all the ends of the earth - that if the day cometh that the power and gifts of God shall be done away among you, it shall be  because of unbelief."
Moroni 10:24
"Yea, come into Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, and then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."
Moroni 10:32

Prayer, reading my scriptures, paying FULL tithing, repentance, becoming constantly close to the spirit.. There are so many things we can be doing to gain a faith that everything will be okay. Gaining a testimony of faith is key. Without faith, there is nothing. I know that if we turn to Christ, and i mean our heart and mind, then Christ will wrap his love around us and we will not fear, we cannot fear if we are righteous and in the presence of God... i know it to be true. 

Sincerely, Ashlyn


  1. I love this. Just what I needed today. Love you ash.

  2. wow. its a dang good thing i stumbled across this today, because its exactly what i needed to read.