What made me smile

Once i allow stress to enter into my life, i tend to slip from the things that i am most passionate about and separate myself from the things that i adore most. Maybe it's just the talk of stress that ignites that negative stressful feeling. I am recognizing that even in my simple talk how much i have been complaining... "Hey Ashlyn! How are ya?" my usual reply, "I'm good! Tired and stressed... but I'm good!" Is life really that hard? Or am i giving life an excuse to be negative about all the difficult things life is thrusting upon me? 

Getting ready for school this morning was a struggle. I woke up late, couldn't find a shoe, my hair was a mess, acne at its finest, i was hungry, thoughts about people i care for were running through my head, I couldn't find my assignment that had to be turned in before class started, AH! I finally ran out the door into the cool morning breeze and instantly heard the song singing in my head...

Ere you left your room this morning,

Did you think to pray?

In the name of Christ our Savior,

Did you sue for loving favor,

As a shield today?

O how praying rests the weary! 

Prayer will change the night to day;

So when life seems dark and dreary,

Don't forget to pray.

At that particular moment, i couldn't help but smile a guilty smile. Sometimes i get so caught up in life that my desires become a higher priority than what God wants of me. As i walked to school, my heart rang full of gratitude. Gratitude for...

1. The sweet spirit my nieces and nephews have. Their innocence and purity is incredibly delightful. I wish they were my hangout buddies for the weekend nights; but unfortunately, they have a bedtime. 

2. My roommate Katelyn. There is never a dull moment when i am with her - no need for ab workouts when you have a roommate like Katelyn! I am always ALWAYS laughing. 

3. My friend Madeline for being so remarkably exemplifying of everything good in life. Madeline is one of those people you garner priceless wisdom from by just being in her presence. You have such a beautiful spirit Madeline, thank you for everything.

4.  All my siblings - each one of my siblings are so different; yet each bring unforgettable lessons to the table for me to feed on. I love them all so deeply. I am so grateful that we get to spend eternity together. 

5. My parents. I wouldn't be here without them. Literally. Their love for me is something I can't quite understand just yet. They have made countless sacrifices in their lives to give me every opportunity to become who i am supposed to be. I love you mom and dad:)

6. All the people who have gone out of their way to make my day "that" much better: 

- Michael: for bringing me soup and writing the nicest note on a rather very difficult day.

- That random girl who offered to give up her umbrella in the pouring rain. 

- That dude who went out of his way to tell me that i looked pure and beautiful on a day that i felt hideous.
- Tori: for being so strong throughout some of the hardest times a person could faced. I have looked up to you in so many ways! I love being with you - you make me so happy!!
- Anonymous: for writing me a happy note and slipping it into my backpack. Thank you for making me smile. :)

- Chelsea, Rachel... ALL my roommates for always listening to my stories and venting moments. You guys are the best people! I love you all so SO much!

- The girls i visit teach: you are such good reminders of service and the good in life. 

- Kevin: for always being interested in my welfare. You always want to listen.

- Devin: never has a day gone by where you haven't complimented me.

- Isabelle: for sending me the goofiest snapchats every day - if only you knew how happy these make me!

it goes on....

Once i start to consider the blessings, i realize how selfish of me it is to dwell on how hard life can be. There is always something to be grateful for. Do not use trials as an excuse to be negative - it will only drag you down - there is happiness even in the darkest of times.

Consider the good in life. I triple-dog dare you. 

Sincerely, Ashlyn